hallucinations

These days .....i sit bored, gazing at the sky......nurturing my old memories..........cultivating in me some spirited thoughts...........yet i find myself blank, i find myself shallow, i find myself in dire straits.
God created us all for a purpose, and i am still searching my aim, my purpose, my radar to guide me,tune myself to a perfect song, cradle the so called self destiny. sometimes i try to laugh at my present hilarious juxtaposition...............possibly doing nothing.
I love to spend my time with my diary.............basically its very cool and decent and the most important thing, it never gets bored of me, neither scold me of any of my shortcomings. Am i a junkie, tempted on having a trip one after the another.........................i am losing my spirit......
Feels like speculating my future, laying down on an easy chair with a 40 year old gray album, depicting some foolish fun filled moments, some pages which i cant even remember, and your voice calling me from a far land..........The clock is constantly ticking, hurriedly moving towards the "distant call."